settling

i made banana bread today.  we had some old bananas, and as i was about to drop them into the trash, i though, "wait a second, can't you make banana pudding from old bananas?" so i put them back in the fruit bowl.  then i remembered that its banana bread, not pudding, that you make from old bananas.

so i got out joy of cooking and checked it out and made banana bread.

on another note, i think seeing zach and josh martin and j-will over the weekend reminded me that we don't really have friends here yet.  as far as that goes, i've been just trying not to think about it.  however, i'm thinking that isn't really the best way to handle loneliness.  

part of me thinks i should just start getting involved with stuff, but when i do that i always get over involved and wear myself out.  

i was reading breaking free by beth moore on the train ride home.  she was talking about "being satisfied by Christ."  being filled by Christ.  she compared it to when your body is hungry and the only thing that comforts hunger is food, or thirsty and the only thing that helps is water, and without these things your body becomes sick, or possibly dies.  beth moore says, "Does your hungry soul ever manifest physical symptoms such as irritability, selfish ambitions, anger, impure thoughts, envy, resentments, and eruptions of lust?"  the part that really made me feel convicted was when she said, "if you fail to partake of the spiritual food and drink of God for a while, you are hungry and thirsty for His satisfaction whether or not you know it!" 

timmy and i have talked a lot about how most problems really do go back to needing to pray and read scripture more often.  of course, there are some people who have severe emotional needs or deep spiritual hurt and they need personal counseling along with those things... but anyway-  i think my kind of loneliness is a spiritual hunger.  i'm making friends here.  i have a place to serve here.  things are good here.  it's just going to take time to settle in.  

driving back to keokuk from the train station was the first time i felt like i was going home since we've lived here.  i know it's coming.  loneliness is just a really big hurdle, i guess.

love.