a thought

i was thinking about my past.  about ex boyfriends and old friends and why relationships aren't the same.  i was examining my heart, haven't i forgiven the hurt they caused?  haven't i forgiven myself for making human errors in friendships?  i really think i have.  and then, i realized that forgiveness doesn't mean reconciliation.  ultimately, it should lead to that, but it doesn't always.  i can forgive fully but if the other party doesn't accept or find a way to forgive me or themselves, real reconciliation can't happen.  reconciliation requires forgiveness on all fronts.

this obviously relates to the Lord; how he offers forgiveness to everyone, but everyone doesn't accept his grace, maybe because they can't forgive themselves or because they continue to believe the devil's lies that they can't be forgiven...  and while you can have forgiveness without reconciliation, you can not have reconciliation without forgiveness.  

i think a fake surface relationship can exist without forgiveness; polite conversation and maybe even shared fun activities.  but real reconciliation requires forgiveness of self and others, which usually means experiencing pain and discomfort but ultimately freedom and joy.

im so thankful for God's example to us through Jesus.  selfless love for everyone.  and that means i dont get to choose who i love either.  but that also means complete reconciliation to God and to my brothers and sisters, and that is freedom.

if God loves everyone and everyone doesn't love him back, he still loves them, but reconciliation to God doesn't occur until acceptance of His forgiveness (Grace through Christ) has happened.  and i think people need to forgive themselves to do that.  and sometimes other people as well.  

i think our culture has learned politeness instead of forgiveness.  it takes time and a lot of effort to really forgive some one who has wronged you, especially if you're in the right.  and i know i've only been able to forgive some people through prayer and with the help of the Lord and the strength of his example of forgiveness to me.   i want to live without grudges and with total reconciliation.  

this is an incomplete thought.

love.