things.

im semi surprised with how "easy" the transition to keokuk has been.  every once in a while, we realize what a small town this is, and get a little cabin feverish, but it's not that big of a deal to me, i dont think it is to timmy either...  the real adjustment, for me, has been becoming such visual leaders.  i think timmy and i have both been most comfortable behind the scenes, but that is obviously not possible in this position.  its weird to have so many people know so much about us (even if that's just our names...) while we still know very little about them.

tied with becoming visual leaders, has definitely been missing our friends.  our joplin community is so precious to us.  we miss hanging out, serving, talking, and growing with our friends in joplin.  we know we'll be in the area fairly often, but that daily community is hard to be without.  we know that God has a community here for us, and we are loving becoming a part of it, but its so much different.  definitely a big adjustment.

...

we started our youth praise band yesterday.  i've never led a band before.  and im doing it on guitar, which im not nearly as good at playing as piano.  but, its a lot easier to lead a band on guitar, because they can see what your fingers are doing, and hear the rhythm a lot better, and it makes it a lot easier to play along with.  so, that's the deal.  im super excited about getting to pick what we do and the guys playing are sooo creative and talented and they keep suggesting songs and ideas and its great.  they were joking about doing some "Screamo" vocals and im like, "yeah lets try it," but they dont think people will like it.  i suggested a special music night.  im just so proud of them already.  its going to be so great!

being placed in leadership begs the question, am i ready?  you sure?  i feel really unprepared. they're better than me at a lot of things... i don't play as well as the high schoolers im leading, i dont have a very wide vocal range, and i haven't led a worship band before.  on top of that, im not a very commanding leader naturally, im more of a behind the scenes leader i think.  but the real question is- am i ready spiritually?  after all, this is worship we're talking about, not just music.  and while i know the youth group can worship God through music im playing, even if im not worshiping while im playing it-  i've got four young guys playing with me, and i want to build up their passion for Jesus, not for chord charts. and more than who im leading, i've got my own heart to think about, because my heart is going to lead others.  how is my personal worship?  i've got to be growing closer to bring other people closer.

im not going to dwell on whether im ready or not.  i know that God has a plan and timmy and i are here for a reason.  after our practice last night, i know the things i need to work on technically- creating clear chord charts, working on my vocal range, having a stronger plan for practice, etc.  and spiritually, i know where i am.  i know i need more structured study from the word, not just from other people.  i need to trust, focus and follow him.  i know from scripture that God uses the weak, the uncertain, the "unprepared" but the reason they bring him glory and we look back to them is that they trust, they have faith that he is who he is, and God used them.  and i trust him and i know all these things i need to work on are for his glory.

love.