a year?

i seriously haven't updated since last october? i guess i have been really busy... i went back to school last september, and my life has kind of been a blur since then.
i feel like i should do a summary/update of everything that's happened in the last year, but that seems terribly silly and impossible and besides that, over the last year i've realized that im not as interesting as i once thought i was. that seems so dumb to type out, but it's true.

there have obviously been a few life shaping events this year, but the one that shook me deepest was the tornado that hit joplin mo (where my husband and i went to college, where some of our dearest friends live, and where we first called home after we were married) we were so blessed to be able to take a van load of supplies from our church community here in iowa to our friends in joplin who had set up shelters and supply centers in the days following the disaster.

on the way down i was worried that i would be too emotional to be helpful, but the immense loss was so overwhelming that i couldn't even process it, when we arrived in joplin, the devastation was still pretty raw- people were still receiving medical treatment after being pulled from rubble, rubble was still in the roads and blocking traffic, search and rescue teams were still digging through homes, boards were sticking out of buildings... raw. and overwhelming.

i was so humbled by the service happening in Joplin. i saw people who had lost everything passing donations to other people who had lost everything.  So many victims had become volunteers helping to collect and organize donations. it was so surreal.

every single person we talked to had a story and we were thankful to be there in the days immediately following the storm to relieve even a tiny bit of the burden. timmy and i were only able to spend 3 days working at different relief centers around the city we love, it doesn't seem like much, especially considering how much the people who actually LIVE in joplin are coping with on a day to day basis even now, but my time there changed me.

it was so unsettling and humbling to see all the places that had been so familiar as rubble-- our first apartment as a married couple, our favorite restaurants, wal-mart, so many homes, all of the beautiful trees uprooted... all of it was the culmination of one of my biggest fears, and although i was spared witnessing that destruction firsthand, some of my dearest loved ones found themselves in the midst of the aftermath forced to spring into action, others were so devastated they couldn't do anything but wait for help, others documented what was happening with photos and twitter, or made phone calls to check on people from their church or work... we heard so many stories... my heart broke over and over.

if there's anything i've learned this year, it's that im not much without Jesus. im selfish. i'm foolish. im fickle. i'm temporary. God is constant and im thankful for that every inconsistent day i'm alive.
it's been a great year.
love.