summer 2005 was the most relaxing time ever. nothing went right, or maybe i should say, according to plan. i just trusted God. it was amazing. that was the summer i met timmy. i liked him. i was praying and i felt God say, "Wait." so i did. after the summer ended, katrina hit the gulf coast and lindsay was like, "you wanna go help?" and i said no. but then i was praying about it and i told God why i didn't want to go, i said, "i've got stuff to do this weekend..." and the thought crossed my mind, "they had stuff to do this weekend." so i packed a bag and called lindsay back... "i changed my mind, ill go..."
i just did stuff if i thought i was going to make a difference. now i think life in general is more settled, and that probably means i need to listen a little harder for what God wants me to do. but that's happened before too. living in podunk joplin, we had some insane spiritual adventures with the Lord.
now i think i've just settled into mediocrity and whats worse; i've let myself get content with mediocrity. we're kind of buddies now.
this week, im driving down to arkansas by myself. timmy's going to a youth ministry conference with some ministers from this area. im a little nervous about taking such a long drive by myself (i've never done that before) but my plan is to just enjoy it. because honestly, some of my favorite experiences are just mediocre things, like a good meal, or being cuddled up by timmy, or christmas morning, or a rain storm... you know, regular stuff that i just enjoyed.
that's the worst thing about worry. it totally robs me from enjoying what ever is happening right now. so the new goal list is something like this i guess;
1. enjoy the moment.
2. have conversations with God.
3. trust what God says.
oh... anyway...
love.
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